This past weekend, I headed back to southwest Wisconsin to watch my niece and her High School Equestrian Team compete. The girls range in age from 6th – 12th grades.

Of my 20 years as a rider, instructor, and trainer, that age range was the most difficult. My hometown and the areas surrounding are not particularly wealthy, and most of us grew up riding back-yard horses that we trained and brought along and tried to fit to our dreams. Whether they wanted to or not, those back-yard quarter ponies became Grand Prix dressage horses, four-star Eventers, and barrel racing demons… at least in our hearts and imaginations.

Watching my niece as she navigates this path is fascinating… heartbreaking… and inspiring. Her green, but loving and perfect-for-her gelding dumped her twice on Sunday. A spook here, a spook there. Riding conditions were atrocious, and between that, high nerves, pressure and inexperience, he cracked. She was obviously disappointed, and probably a bit embarrassed. I remember the same experiences, and the feeling of utter depression that accompanies the let down of that moment; the cumulation of all your hard work in… nothing.

But she stood up. She shook herself off. She gritted her teeth and forced a smile, laughing, outwardly at least, and saying, “Oh well, it’s just WiHA.”

I could not have been prouder. It is in those moments when we are knocked down and we force ourselves to get back up that we define who we are. In those moments when that horse lets her down, she chooses to move on and love him anyway and demonstrates the massive goodness in her heart. In those moments, she makes the choice to value learning and understanding over the superficial, and that is a quality that will translate into value for the rest of her life.

Does that mean that the falls are not heartbreaking at the time? Of course not. And do I want her to win? Absolutely. But I know that even if the path you take is hard – and bringing along your own horse is – as long as you hold your love of the sport and the animal, or any other challenge you choose to embrace, close to your heart it will pay off tenfold in the end.