Day two. The human arrives home from work, suffering from post-super bowl exhaustion and a long day of math. She is not sure what to expect. Will the peace still hold? Would territories have been fortified? Would any of the cats have developed a nuclear program, and tested missiles by shooting “satellites” into space? Would Voldemort have drawn a dark mark on the back of the couch in blood with his claws?
The human’s hope was for a continued, shaky peace.
And no poop on the floor.
Instead, she hears the thump of bass music when she gets out of her car and it only gets louder when she pulls open the door to the building. Not quite able to make out the song, the beat reminds her eerily of David Guetta. She opens the door to the apartment wanting nothing more than to take a quick power nap before hot yoga.
Her hopes are, however, instantly dashed and all she can do is stare, dumbfounded.
All three cats are dancing scandalously about the living room. The song switches to Calvin Harris’ “You Used To Hold Me”, upon which Volde-Floyd leaps into the air and yells, “HELL YEAH! THIS IS MY JAM!” while arching his back in his tank top.
Zelda the Twilight Princess must have found all of human number two’s EDM gear, because she is now bedecked as Zelda the Raver Princess — tutu, flower crown, and glow paint on her tail. Not to be outdone, Irish is wearing heart-shaped pasties.
Human number 1 shakes her head, thinking, “What the hell happened here?” Then she sees the stuffed-sheep dispenser on the floor next to an empty bottle of cat nip and it hits her.
They are all high AF.
The song switches to Little John and the East Side Boys “Get Low”. Irish drops it like it’s hot and Zelda-FeeBee shakes her tail feathers while Volde-Floyd tries, and fails, to douggie.
The human shakes her head — at least this is better than the cold war? Isn’t it?
These cats have fucking terrible taste in music.
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